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What Newlyweds Should Know from a Divorce Lawyer

Atualizado: Jul 9

One thing most people don't think about when they're going through a divorce but they should is that divorce isn't a cure-all to the problems that they have in their life.

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When you're married, you have one set of problems, but you don't have another. When you're divorced, you have one set of problems, but you don't have another.

So basically, you're trading one set of problems for another set of problems. And at the end of the day, whether it's married or divorced, whether it's single or in a relationship, it's all about picking the set of problems that you feel most comfortable with.

The best way for someone to move past a divorce is to start thinking about their post-divorce life from the beginning. When you think about why, you can endure the how. When you think about the destination you want to get to, you can navigate your way there.

People who are going through a divorce very often think about nothing but the loss.

But the truth is, there's also a lot of things you're gonna gain when you get divorced.

There's a freedom from a certain kind of upset that you had, there's a freedom from a certain stress that you had, there's different ways to interact with your children, and different ways to interact with your home and your environment.

So its important get people to start thinking about the things that they're keeping and not the things that they're losing.

Talink with the kids about the divorce

Talking to your children about divorce is incredibly important, but take care to not do it way too soon.

The most natural question that children ask is, “What's gonna happen? When am I gonna see Mom? When am I gonna see Dad? Are we gonna be living in the same house that we used to live in? How's the dog gonna go back and forth?”

Kids ask all kinds of reasonable questions about the very specific things that are gonna happen. So as much as you might want to share with your kids real early on that you are splitting up, until you have an answer to some of those really significant questions, don't do it.

It's really easy to think that marriage is binary. If you're not perfect at it, you suck at it. To people who are newly married, the suggestion I would give is, remember why you feel the way you feel right now. There's a way you're behaving towards each other right now. There's a way you're looking at each other when you're newly married.

That changes over time because the world's antagonistic to marriage. The world doesn't do much to facilitate marriage, as in help them. It does a lot to beat the hell out of them.

So one of the best things you can do is try to remember what connected you to your spouse, and try to remind yourself and your spouse every day of what parts of them you fell in love with.

They say marriage is hard, but it's only hard if you think paying attention is hard.

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